Why You’re Not Good Enough

The world is an unsavory place.
It takes good people, and makes them bad.
Every ounce of goodness, it must squeeze from you
And replace with something foul.
It celebrates your outbursts
And every narcissistic episode---

Take the shower because it’s comfortable.
It’s warm. Write poetry because it helps you understand.
Don’t wear make-up. Let your hair be natural---
They’ve proven men like this better anyway.

I see your pain---
Let me tell you how I dealt with it.
I didn’t. I had no friends.
I had no allies. 
I had no social life.
I was excluded from all the social gatherings.
And I don’t regret it.

I’ve been blessed with an imagination---
I can create the worlds I wish to visit.
You can, too.

But you’re not good enough because you sin---
I sin. Everyone sins.
This world isn’t the best of all possible worlds.
We cannot all be Pangloss 
Thinking the bridge of our nose was built for spectacles.

The danger of course is that you think you deserve something more than you get.
Without hard work, without an honest effort, you deserve nothing in this life.
The world praises you for your talent---
It praises you for your poem.
I don’t.

I had it twenty times worse than you.
It never dawned on my mind that everyone should bow down to me.
I was the last picked for every sport
My friends tolerated me.
If you want a true friend,
That much I can understand.
Yet, they, too, can betray you in ways you’d never imagine.

I wish I had answers for you.
I truly do.
But, why aren’t you good enough?
Sin. Pride. Selfishness.
We all have to be cut down before we can truly appreciate the life we’re given.

At some point, little girl,
You’re going to have to realize you have a good life.
And you’re going to have to stop being so bitter.
I have a tear in my eye
Because I know it’s hard advice to give,
And it’s hard advice to take.
This world owes you nothing;---
The sooner you learn that, the better off you will be.

However, keep making those grades
And one day you’ll find that your life will be better.
It does get better.
Middle School is traumatic for every child---
It’s an awkward part of life
Where we’re beginning to recognize the opposite sex,
We’re beginning to mature.
But know you are so blessed.
All of this can be taken away in an instant.
Your whole generation needs to know
That it is making hell on earth
Because it thinks everyone must bend to the whims of fragile egos.

Work hard. Keep writing poetry.
Look to getting the grade---
We’re not good enough.
We just simply aren’t.
We’re here because we deserve it
And only Christ can bring us out of it.

The danger is that you grow bitter.
What I’m speaking might seem unkind,
But it is the discipline you need.
The old teacher’s voice that I used to hate---
That same voice was the one who loved me the most.
And it’s never fun or kind.
It’s never happy or fresh.
It stings like a paddle against our backside
But you need to understand
This world owes you nothing.
And you’re not good enough.
Not unless you take the effort to change.

We need to grow spiritually,
And soberly.
We need to recognize that we are low;
How many girls did you tease?
How many girls did you make feel bad?
Had I been in your school,
Before I was beautiful,
You might have looked down on me---

One thing about me, is I never expected anyone
To show me kindness.
I instead was the kindness I wanted from others.
You’ll find in this life,
That what you sow, you reap.
And the greatest kindness I can show to you
Is to tell you that it does get better.
But, it also is true that you have it in your own capabilities 
To change your reaction to the world around you.
You can whine and complain,
And launch a Holy Crusade against the world around you---
Love this is advice I need to hear to, we all need it---
Or you can humbly accept your lot in life
And allow yourself to move up.
Sit down at the low table.
Stop associating with superficial friends.
My heart burns for you---
I know it’s miserable.
Just keep engrossing yourself in your work.
Be kind. Work hard. Give what you can.

Don’t expect from this world what it isn’t at liberty to give you.
It’s a cruel place, and if you decide to fight it
It will roll you over---
Your good intentions will one day sneak up and take from you what was truly good.
I understand that you need love---
However, you need to be the love you want to see in the world.

Allow yourself to mourn. Allow yourself to cry.
Allow yourself to feel deep heartache. Don’t shun it.
Don’t callous yourself against it, and lash out.
Rather, submit yourself to the yoke of innocence.

I agree with you that the world is cruel.
But, when it is, know Jesus
Is there to take that thing we hate
And remove it from us.
For, what do you want?
To remove the cruelty from the world around yourself
And become bitter when you can’t?
Or remove the cruelty from within, and know at the very least
You’ve done all you could to fix yourself?