Bart Ehrman, New Sophism Scholar

The Gospels weren't written by the apostles
Because the Apostles were "Unschooled" men,
And the gospels were written sixty years later?

Yet, people learn new languages all the time;
And it's not impossible to teach old men how to read and write.
Also, Luke was an Eyewitness to the accounts of Acts
And Luke is the same writer who wrote both Acts and the Gospel of Luke.
We know Luke was not an eye witness to Christ's ministry,
Most Christian Scholars agree,
But he was an historian.
Mark, also, was not an eye witness to the ministry of Jesus,
And most scholars agree to that, too,
But he wrote in unrefined Greek which was controversial
Because it was very ungrammatical.
Also, Matthew might have been about twenty when he lived with Jesus
And being a Tax Collector, he would have known how to write;
I think, otherwise he wouldn't be able to collect taxes.
Also, John, being the latest Gospel written,
John could have probably lived to a ripe old age of 120---
People did it then, they do it now---
And he might have later learned how to write
As having something so important to say,
They might have been encouraged a little bit on how to write Greek;
Wouldn't you say?
Also, same thing with Peter, and James and John
And the rest of the Apostles.

Your premise, Mr. Ehrman,
Is that it's impossible to learn how to read or write
As an adult.
Being that these men converted people of all social classes to Christianity,
Couldn't one of their converts have taught them all how to write?

If that's the sole basis on not believing that the Gospels were written,
Then you're just plain brassheaded.

Also, you sign your name to your books, don't you?
That may have been an idiolect of address
Used exclusively by the Gospel Writers.