This Eejit’s Rage Fantasy

I speak to a rebel
Some decade ago...
She calls me a nasty word.
She tells me, 
"It is a term of endearment,"
Hiding the fact that it is not.

I use the word against a woman;
One who says I mansplain...
And in a vile outburst
I know now where it came
I drop a nasty word upon her head
And feel dejected.

For the well of bitterness was that I was lied to.
Please understand.
I hadn't cherished the Rebel's friendship,
But thought we made good acquaintance.
Yet, she called I the word I called you.
And now I know it is a nasty word
And I am left questioning whether the word
Was spoken illy about me.
I do not know.
And for that I lashed out against you.

I'm sorry.