I’m A Liar

"The led tablet at Ebal
"Was not hindered by the red tape
"Of academia. Therefore,
"We ought to ignore it
"And throw the lead off the team.
"Though, it clearly can be seen
"From the article the letters drawn,
"We will say it's like a rorschach test.

"The 24th Century Anomaly
"Coincides with the Flood Myths in China.
"We know it happened from Tree Rings
"In an ancient tree in Ireland.
"But that can't be evidence of the flood.
"Nor can the fact that the Neolithic Civilization
"Ceased existing at that exact time
"Give us good evidence for the same.
"Also, Adam and Eve are not in Chinese
"Mythology, despite a monument erected
"In their honor, around the second Millennium BC.

"The Egyptian Chariot Spoke
"Found off Neweibu Beach
"Doesn't exist... despite it existing
"A decade ago when you first heard about it.
"Buried, blacklisted, and now forgotten.
"It was never authenticated by a renowned
"Artefact dealer, nor was it dated to the 18th Egyptian Dynasty.
"No, you see, ships sank in that area many times
"And that explains why so many chariot pieces were scattered
"On the Seafloor.

"There were no Venuses found in the Americas
"And E. B. Renaud did not speculate
"On a universal Neolithic Religion
"Of a Mother Goddess,
"Which the Venuses were not found on the American Continents.
"No, this article was not taken off of JSTOR
"And the author you read is crazy,
"And no such citation ever existed.
"Nor does the Bible mention "Peleg"
"That the Earth divided in his days.
"I'm sure it does, but it doesn't mean what 
"Brandon says it does. Obviously...
"That'd be absurd.

"Papias was an idiot, and Erasmus even said so,
"And he was dead wrong when he told us
"Who wrote Mark and Matthew;
"And He didn't say he wrote the Book of John
"By John's the Elder's own word.
"Who is that John? It's not the Apostle John.
"And certainly, Luke was not a good historian,
"And he didn't get everything contemporary in his gospel.

"Also, Psalm 22 doesn't say 'My hands and feet are pierced'
"But rather it means 'Bit by a lion's tooth,' and the Dead Sea
"Scrolls don't say "Pierced.' And Psalm 2 doesn't say
"'Kiss the Son' No, it says, "Kiss the pure'
"The "Pure" Begotten by God. And the Bible is full of Anachronisms.
"Like David says the Walls need rebuilt, Moses says there will be a King
"And that there will be a curse, if the peoples sin,
"And Isaiah 53 clearly does not talk about a man's soul
"Being offered for the sin of the people. Not at all.
"And Zechariah doesn't say Joshua (The Hebrew form of Jesus)
"Will reign as both Priest and King, and forgive sins.
"That'd be absurd."