The Rebellion of the Pharisees and Sadducees

Pharisees

Oh my! This man has found all the evidence
And yet he is a miserable sex offender!
If the world knows about him, that he found all these things
Oh that rascal, the whole world would stop believing!
For why would God give prosperity to a letch like him!
Why is he so creative with his thoughts?
He rebukes us at the dinner table for saying what the Bible says
That Jephthah murdered his daughter, and God's silence is aught!
To die, means one descends to the grave, and only afterward
Do they rise and meet their maker! Yet he said 
"To be absent from the body is to be present with the LORD!"
Oh, this offender! This letch, this terrible letch
Undoing all our Religious Dictatorship! Paul said "And" not "Is".
His evidence is 100 years different than what is spoken by Paul!
And, then, he rebukes a good man about the man whom
Jesus healed, and asked if he wanted water!
We know that man is a sinner, for why would God
All knowing, ask such a thing? We understand God's thoughts.
This letch, we must steal his bread, and fortune, and prosper ourselves
For if he is known among the peoples, they shall all laugh at him and lose faith.
He even has the audacity to say God's law is self evident
And need not He to be true! Why must aught be true
Unless God makes it? Why? All things are only  known
Because the Bible tells us so. And nothing else can be known at all.

Sadducees

Oh my, this person preaches on sin!
And he is a miscreant!
Oh, we love our God Sin, that is God
The brazen bull, and he wishes to break it to pieces!
We shall have our Abomination set up in the temple
And Theophilus never heard one true word about our God.
We shall let the sodomites be married!
There is not one shred of evidence that God exists
And we know Zoroastrianism was the first Monotheistic faith.
The Jews were Pagans, and Polytheistic
And worshipped at the altars of sin,
This we know because of much evidence;
Until that miscreant Josiah changed the religion.
No, their books were not written
Until after the exile, this we know---
(Despite it clearly being established on evidenced not to be the case.)