Sermon 2

My, not Paul's teachings on marriage.

Listen, my brethren, to Paul, for marriage brings worldly sorrows. But, good worldly sorrows, for one then has company in this strange world, and recourse to expire worldly lusts. And a spiritual sister or brother, whom flesh binds with flesh, and a child springs forth into this world, sown between the fruits of two lovers.

If you cannot afford or fathom how to take care of your children, do not have sex. But, if your wife or husband have desire, satisfy it fully. And have the children, for God shall abundantly provide for a household sown in love. Sown in discord, it shall have curses, but in love, and peace, and no enmity or strife, there shall be fruitful fields and gardens, and springs, and wells, and rivers, and much fleshly lusts expired through the satisfaction of your mate.

Do not marry one of the same sex. Do not change your gender from your sex. For if you do that, you will surely die in the lake of fire. Until you divorce this strange spouse, and expire the lust completely, whether by castration, then so be it. Or by neutering, then so be it. Whether by plucking out your eyes, or ears, then so be it. My heart aches, that questions like these were not common for so many years, and yet now everyone is forced to ask them. Or, if you have no lust, you may remain whole, and not a Eunuch, but abide in peace.

If unmarried, the LORD shall bring you dreams if you need them. Wash, do not enter into battle, and your soul shall be purged of fleshly lusts. It is better not to have dreams, however. Also, do not be filthy Dreamers, looking for lusty ways to gratify your desires.

As for birth control, use whatever you wish, but maximize the pleasure. But, do not kill the seed, or the egg, or the fetus. That is my teaching, not Paul's.

Also, love your spouse as much as you can. Indulge in love, and feel love for one another. Drink deep of each other's cisterns and wells, in the love enjoined in the two through the fleshly covenant of marriage. Love her, deep love, and true love. Make heavenly peace the union you share with your spouse, and friendship felt most sincere. For if it is not this, you cannot be divorced.

Do not get divorced. Not for any reason, other than adultery. Any other reason, causes infidelity, and is wickedness.

Do not fantasize about anyone beside your spouse. And if you do not have a spouse, do not fantasize, but let your dreams purge worldly lusts. Do feel a bit guilty for dreams, however, as they are not good. But, do not feel like you have sinned, either. Only that you are unclean. But if you do have a spouse, fantasize about her often, for she is your soulmate, and she is whom God gave you as your portion in this life. 

Have one spouse unto death, and if need be another in widowhood. And if your spouse has touched the flesh of adultery, you are made free.