My Favorite Pastor

My favorite pastor hates me---
This I know, for his silence is deafening.
He thinks I'm lazy, but well studied.
He thinks I accomplish nothing.
I don't know if it is just envy of me
Or that he thinks I truly am a sinner
And cannot get past the sins I committed in youth.
What am I to do, though?
If I affected nothing, then I am useless
But a human being, am I not?
Surely I am useless for myself
And for others... and he doth judge me a sinner
And I know in my heart... it is true.
I gave nothing.
I did nothing.
I hurt everyone.
I am nothing.
I have a heart to do good, but it does evil.
I know this.