My Conversion from Atheism

I was an atheist off and on for about 6 months. Legitimately, I prayed to God, and said “I don’t believe in you,” and I got back in return “All have alike gone astray, searching after their own things.” Literal thought that went through my mind, I’d never read that in the Bible ever.

So, when I was about 18 into 19 I had a girlfriend. And we were riotous. We were hell on wheels. We were Bonnie and Clyde. We never actually went the whole way, but would get to third base sometimes. But we did that enough. And life was miserable. I couldn’t even remember the day before, let alone my Sunday School lessons from 10 years prior. We didn’t like each other, we cared about each other, but we were a hot mess.

And I was trying to make a Universal Morality. That was my goal, at the Guard shack as I waffled between Atheism and Christianity. It was a real fight. I was really leaning in toward the Atheist side, but really, I was a full blown atheist for a while. Not long… but long enough.

And the reason why I couldn’t be an Atheist… it all amounts to the vacuum left by it. As a philosophy, atheism is morally bankrupt, and can’t really hold anyone accountable. It permits the worst forms of debauchery, and really starves out love. I can’t really eloquently say what I mean, but Atheism destroys the capacity to love and it is extremely selfish. At its root, it will permit anything that the culture allows.

And for one thing, I experimented with homosexuality as a very young boy. So, come to say, I knew it was wrong from having done so. And nobody is going to tell me otherwise. Nothing I ever did that was wrong, wasn’t with the knowledge of it being wrong. And I think the fact that Atheism cannot contend with Homosexuality— at best Homosexuality makes selfish cultures. And I’ve seen it in my own. But, Atheism cannot contend with that. As if you’re atheist, you’re more right to be selfish, and forsake everything and everyone important for your own satisfaction. As there’s no afterlife, or reward or punishment, you might as well treat your friends and family as accessories rather than intrinsic parts of your life.

And I think that is why I’m not an Atheist. Is because it’s too shallow, and cruel, and it doesn’t answer questions about human morality in a way that satisfies me. Like Jesus did.