Why Do I Believe?

That’s actually a very good question. And I’ll tell you exactly why.

So, let’s just take it back to “I think therefore I am.” Like Descartes. And what I think, can be either true or false. I can look at a fact on the internet or in a book… what establishes said thing as a fact? Could be the book or internet are lying to me. You know? I can also be wrong about what’s on page 7, or even that the book has a page 77. So, my mind is not capable of holding together reality. And whose is? A cadre of really smart people, or extra terrestrials? They just establish the laws? Well, what if I don’t trust them to establish the laws? What if science is wrong? Or what if everything we know now is wrong, but 20 years ago it was all correct? So that’s the first reason, is to have a bedrock of reality, independent of some being that isn’t entirely good. God is Light, and God is Good and God is Love. I’d rather have Him hold together my reality, than a couple of random scientific studies or peer reviewed papers.

Another thing, the moral law that God proscribed is better than anyone else’s. What I read in Jesus, is better than ten sages, and what I read in the Old Testament, seems to be solid, and built our very first civilizations. The fact that it kills everyone is good, as God’s Ark kills by the touch. Even touching perfection, kills us. So, you have two testaments, of the Conqueror and Sentence in the old, and the Rescuer and Defender in the new. And that balance in life, of having breath, so always being enabled to cross the threshold into a righteous person, or making the decision to be bad. It makes sense. Either trusting God for our righteousness, or trusting in ourselves. Either agreeing with the Moral Law that is higher than us, or creating our own moral law, which is insufficient.

Then, I’ve seen the religion as it is authentically expressed. I’ve felt the Holy Spirit in me, and move me. I’ve known myself with the religion, and without it. And I got to say, knowing God is good, and has dominion over all things, including the evil… that nothing evil happens without God’s word, it is a comfort to me. Because it gives sense to the world, and it doesn’t just throw it all into the blender of human judgment. It doesn’t leave things under the power or jurisdiction of people who are fallible. It doesn’t leave right and wrong up to a bunch of men to create or decide upon. It’s built in nature, and designed by God, and Evil is what destroys the things that cause man to suffer, and Good is what helps those who abide in God’s authority, and choose to accept grace.

As, without Grace or Mercy, we starve. And we lose what is good in us. Like a Vine or Rootstock, it gives sap to the Scions. We need that sap, or we grow weak in doing what’s good, and we die. And that’s what happened to you. You grew weak in righteousness, because you rejected God’s law. So, it will sap you, and soon God’s divine order will be stripped from you. As for me, I hold onto that order, so I can be taken to a better world, where suffering and sin make an end. As without that new world, life is utterly pointless, and dejected, and feral. And there is no true justice because there is no truly good power to uphold it. Only man and his callous judgment.

We need a teacher. Otherwise we're lost in the weeds of our own thoughts. And my teacher is Jesus. I am also no one's teacher. Just trying to interpret what my Rabbi said.

I always say, I would be agnostic if not for Jesus. I would never be an Atheist, because I don't find their arguments satisfactory. Just everything is so contrary to good reason, that you'd have to annihilate every shred of wisdom, and never build up to a single principle again. It'd be pimps getting run over in the street, and their carcas decaying into a mass of flesh if Atheism were true. Which, it's not for that reason. I would be Agnostic, but would be a lot like my character Marc in The Fifth Angel's Trumpet.

But, it's Jesus and Jesus alone, gives me satisfactory answers to life's biggest questions. Not even Buddha, he's a little spooky and self centered and denies reality a bit. And Muhammad isn't very good. And Moses would have every man, woman and child killed down to the letter.

On Goodness and God

I believe in goodness without God. Although, it's impossible to prove good without Him. It's kind of a conundrum Nietzsche trapped the whole atheist community in, and also Hume. But, generally, they force the argument, that if you prove there's good, there ha to be a God. Because if there's good without God, then it remains subjective, and determined by human opinion, which then it can't be called good, can it? But, I think good is so self evident, that we can move up to God's existence.

But, generally, I think atheists can indeed understand it. I would be doubtful to say that they can't. We all do, that's written in the Bible. And Christ aligns with that natural conscience better than anyone else. But the danger here... and here is the true danger... is saying good is not self evident. And that's a trap both Atheists and Christians fall into. When, I'm aware that both good and evil are self evident, and necessarily proves God exists. Because it relies on superior judgment, existing outside of human consciousness. It's a Law of Nature, not a Law of Human Choice. And since nature proves what's ethical and moral, based on what will create the most beneficial society for all, and naturally create patterns of healthy attachments and material prosperity,  which God's grace will achieve, and has achieved, we move to Christ Jesus.

The Acolyte of Destruction

The church, no matter where you go,
To one church, 'tis a liberal snow
Of platitudes, and their one thing
They might get right, they get all wrong.
For, Arks must be carried on poles,
Ceremony a holy show.
And I go, not seeking sermon,
But rather my most holy bread,
And the acolyte proceeds not
Down the aisle at his hour.
No, he lights it yor the service.
For ceremony must be right.

Another church, speaks hour's long
Deep theology, talks too long;
And no liturgy do they have
But long winded sermons and dead
Anxiety in pews. Many seats filled.
And long winded, with many words
And hypocrites who love to curse;
One has no sermon, and no rites.
The other a long winded strife.
No song or bowing knee, showbread
Comes out with no splendid belief.
Just many words and no order.

My Deed, my Hand, (Yod) Behold the (Hey) Nail; (Vav) Look! (Hey)

After Having Written Over 10,000 Essays, I’ve Found My Essay is Weak and Whiny. But, Some Important Ideas Are Gleaned From It, So Please Excuse the Bad Diction, and Try to Find What I’m Saying. Also, My Average Poem’s Language is Austere, but the Metaphor is Beautiful.

Developing Healthy Reading Habits

You know a chapter a day, a poem a day, an essay a day, a short story a day, it does wonders. Most of them are about 5 pages, or 2,000 words or less. I think people are going to start consuming shorter works, like Short Stories and Personal Essays and Poetry. Because when I read, I can't really get through a whole lot, but I take it in chunks, you read 1 chapter or essay or poem or short story a day, that's 365 chapters, essays, poems, or short stories, and that's about 360,000 words a year. Which is about 5 books a year.

To give you another example, I will read a chapter from a book, and might read that book over 10 years. My memory gets refreshed as I pick it up again, and I can start from that basis. A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, or The Prince and the Pauper--two of my favorites now--have been read by me for about 10 years now. Brother's Karamazov, also. Sometimes, like the Wizard of Oz, I just read the whole novel in a few days. Or Animal Farm I read in one sitting. Boethius, I read a chapter a day, and left the last chapter till now. I started him in December last year. Descartes, also, the Discourse on the Method, have been reading a little bit here and there. I might read a story from Egyptian Mythology, or read over Ptahhotep again; might read a dozen chapters of the Bible--that I fly through because I'm very familiar with it. Might read a poem, and do a deep analysis of it.

Another thing, I don't particularly like reading. I just read for wisdom. It's not my favorite activity. I'd rather listen to a video essay for 20 minutes, and break it into two segments, than read a novel. Unless I go into the flow.

Memory

I remember it
Yet, wrote it differently.
And history says
It the same as how I wrote.
To recall all, take good notes.

Ode to My Words

I

Ten thousands poems are written.
Ten thousand essays the same...
Only one or two hundred are smitten,
The rest are sour or lame.

Am I a monkey at a typewriter?
Am I a robot making rhymes?
Or am I a man with ideas
That shall stand the test of time?

Am I Paul Bunyan or John Henry
Furiously upstaged by machines?
Am I full of rotten envy
Of what I only could have been?

I chose a foolish path...
Many were wiser and sharper with the pen...
I hear my sound, it's foolish...
And I want to make an end.

If I climb Mount Everest
And then I climb K2,
And then take a submersible,
To the bottom of the Mariana, too

Where on Earth can I go?
A thousand trails I've trekked?
My voice is so annoying,
My whining makes me vexed.

I watch the world die---
I watch the work made slow...
I have made myself real wise,
And everything I now have known.

At the end, am I like Apollonius 
A perfect philosopher at the bench
Looking at the gavel, 
My judge a youthful wench?

And shall she say that I am guilty,
For talking ever so loud?
And shall she throw the gavel
And upon the discus pound?

And shall I then a lawsuit,
Which my accusers will not budge,
Go to court with my law-suit
And plead my cause to the judge?

And they who know my Jesus
Obstinately take me before the judge?
And then they say "He's no genius
"For that I hold a grudge."

And what will I do?
For the judge shall smite me sore.
I shall go, I shall go, and shall I pay?
The last cent to the bone ensure?

And sit in my captive bonds
And wait my trial to die?
Or shall I, or shall I
Like Apollonius, in rapture fly?

II

And then I see an Ace,
Top of every field.
He was smarter than the average bear
And had perfect scores to weild.

He went to college apropos,
And submitted his interesting say.
He was a scholar superior,
And all his words and math were fae.

And he could do it, better than all
A great Journeyman at sixteen.
But, then the college caused him to fall
And rejected his wishes like thieves.

They with lies, spun so well
Tormented him with the truth.
No matter how good or swell
You can't achieve unless you have proof

Of your pedigree, not your science,
For the colleges rule the roost.
My words I find, are fayest of all,
But like him I am cast down for truth.

For if they say, they can deny
And no matter how hard you try
The further you climb, like Sisyphus
The further the rock shall slide.

And thus, like him, with perfect choices
Pushes up the slope of change;
He the greatest of them all
Pushes up his success, which are chains.

There he stands like Prometheus
Only wishing to give the world fire.
The college board plucked out his eyes,
For they all were dirty liars.

He wishes to understand the lay
And to know how his world works.
A mathematician's mind you see
Wants to know of mankind's great force.

Thus, he learned the first lesson
Two wills are stronger than one.
And I say, my friend, listen close
That is why he must cleave to God and His Son.

End Days War of Armageddon

You mean Isaiah and Esdras, [a man will be more precious than the golden wedge of ophir]. Burden about Babylon. God will utterly destroy it by the Medes. The Medes were a kingdom to the east of Babylon, Persia was South. And Above Persia was Assyria, already conquered in the Median Empire. Which, coincidentally, Cyrus the Great conquered all three, Babylon, Assyria and won over Media through his art becoming a joint ruler with Persia in the time of Daniel, and entered Babylon without a major battle because Babylon was rebelling against Sin. Which this act, would free the Jews by Cyrus' decree, and end their captivity. But, in the tribulation, the kingdoms of Medo Persia and Babylon will fight one another. As it says in Daniel, the Southern King--the King of Medo Persia--will fight Babylon, which is to the East and South, where Babylon is to the North and West. And the Southern King will enter with his entire army, after a previous great war, and that war will be stayed, and the Northern King will do exploits like no other king ever had, taking cities with a small people--say a group of elite Special Forces--and take many cities with them. But, Medo-Persia will break Babylon, and the smoke will rise forever over the Whore. But the LORD will return on a white horse, and with His breath, destroy Antichrist--the King of Babylon--and his armies.