A friendship, when built upon honest first
Impressions, sparks a sincere intercourse;
Which, neither putting forth a facade's mirth
Can be built with true knowledge's comfort.

Narcissism as defined by psychology
Is wanting to be loved.
Healthy ways of being in psychology
Is loving yourself.

I understand what a narcissist is.
Trust me, I do.
But, something about the definition seems stupid.

To want people to love you,
That is narcissistic.
To have the innate desire to love yourself
This is not narcissistic.

Let me reiterate.
It is narcissistic to want love.
It is not narcissistic to love yourself.

In other words,
It's healthier to love yourself
Than it is to be loved by others.

Let me reiterate:
Everyone are narcissists
And the ones who want love the most, 
Those are the ones who everyone say are sick.

How I wish it was your shadow
Which touched mine.
How I wish in every evening 
Glow, that you found me
And were secretly my shadow.

If at one moment, 
You stood behind, waiting for me.
All I had to do was ask for you,
And you'd appear.

Yet, I have said,
"Do not be..."
Because I do not want a shadow.
For when I ask for you,
You do not appear.
No... you do not appear.

Hope is in every woman
With that familiar face.
I see you everywhere.
In the neighbor
At the mall
On the computer screen
The author of a poem
When I am driving through the local towns.

There you are,
Your face,
And I think, "It is her
"And all I have to do is reach out for her."
Look. It is not you.
Your familiar face,
If I could just have just one of you.
But, it is not the face I want.
No. It is you.
I find you on several dozen faces,
And each of them I want.
At the state park,
At my desk in school,
At the retirement home where I volunteered.
Though, it is not you.
It never is.

I get into a bitter fight today
And I lose hope that you exist.
Because men complicate simple truths with obfuscated 
Legalities, and political points
And hard to swallow talking points.
All I want is you.
And yet, when I call,
As I always try to call,
You are gone.
You do not come when I call for you.
When I'm at the family picnic
I walk down to the wine cellar
And I imagine you walking in,
And introducing our children;
For our love was a secret.
Whatever reason.
But, I walk upstairs,
And you do not come.
And I drink my cup
And I look into it...
I know I'm not supposed to...
And I sigh.

O, I slept light
While I saw my succors,
My success,
Stolen from me in a dream.

I had worked hard
Yet another had received 
The profit of my labor:
Almost like the Preacher said.

I dreamt of it,
His riches,
His honor,
His glory,
His might.
Yet, it was with my words
That he won my Cup.

I am as yet still unknown.
Does this phantom lurk?
Is the doppelganger real?
The very man I have dreamt about?
Does the phantom truly exist?
While he feasts
Must I fast?
While he enjoys the stolen bread
Must I subsist upon only crumbs?

Literary Analysis of Beowulf, Particularly Answering the Question of Whether Beowulf is a Hero.

Is Beowulf a hero or conceited nobody? One has to understand the time period Beowulf was invented. At that time, heroism was personal glory. That’s the whole sum of pagan culture is that glory is everything. And, Beowulf was not “fighting for his glory”. He was fighting to bring peace between the Danes and the Geats. He extended a hand to the Danes who once were at war with the Geats by slaying Grendel and Grendel’s Mother.

To observe whether he was or was not conceited requires one to observe a motif on the vitality of Youth. Beowulf is expected to be a glory seeker in his youth, but in adulthood, he recognizes he is no longer strong. And, this is foretold throughout the entire poem, with its theme of fate and the overall fate of Beowulf, which is to be killed in battle with the Wyrm. Beowulf knows he’ll be defeated, and in this is a sort of humility.

What could be called conceit, to take on one’s professor at school, or whoever is telling one to make Beowulf a conceited cock, Beowulf fights Grendel with his bare hands, and this is unusual in our culture with our faith in weapons and technology. Why wouldn’t he use a sword? But serendipitous, perhaps even foreknown, to Beowulf—because had he used a sword, weapons couldn’t penetrate Grendel’s flesh; thus, he’d have been defeated—Beowulf won the day simply because he used his bare hands.

We can assume he’s had experience with monsters of this kind. But, he does takes a sword into battle with Grendel’s Mother, but of course it fails him. So, one could call Beowulf’s fighting hand to hand conceit here, but is it really when weapons will fail against these kinds of monsters?

And, to contrast what that culture deemed as “Conceited” we have a perfect example in Unferth’s behavior toward Beowulf, who sits in the Mead-Hall and questions Beowulf’s heroism and tries to tout his (Unferth’s) own abilities. But, Unferth is afraid of Grendel, so here we have true conceit. Unferth is afraid to fight Grendel, but he’s also going to belittle Beowulf to his face to try and diminish his (Beowulf’s) capabilities. And Unferth does this by mentioning a swimming match Beowulf lost. And, of course, from my memory, Beowulf did lose the match, but of course, he took down two dozen sea monsters in the process. And, seeing that Beowulf does slay Grendel and Grendel’s Mother, there is no reason to question in this Universe of Discourse that such a thing is possible.

The idea that Beowulf was conceited is just modern idiocy and English culture bashing. Beowulf’s whole culture would be “Conceited” by our standards, and the fact is that Beowulf was the least “Conceited” of that whole group of people. He risked his life to slay a demon. And, this motif in the story that the demonic is more dangerous than men, proven by the fact that Grendel was a demon that Beowulf slew to make peace, and only Beowulf could slay him, proves that the author is trying to say that winning battles with the Demonic through the strength of Christ is more heroic than battles with men, which are often talked about but not glorified in the text anywhere that I can see. He got gold, yes, but that was not a symbol of conceit; it was a symbol of diplomacy. The gold given to Beowulf was a sign between the Danes and Geats of friendship.

One cannot, in any rational way, call Beowulf conceited. It’s impossible. To do so is to view him from a western standard, and it’s revisionism. In the movie, maybe he’s conceited because movies are banal. But in the book, he’s all hero. He dies serving his people in an epic battle with the Wyrm. That’s Satan, just to let one know what the probable metaphor is there. Beowulf even sheds his pride by going into battle with his servant by his side. If one’s teacher wants one to write an essay on why “Beowulf is conceited” then drop that course, and find a true lover of English literature. That’s simply not true; it’s a flawed analysis and its culturally neglectful.

If Beowulf were conceited, it’s in the fact that he wants to obtain glory for himself, but that’s the pagan culture he grew up in, and the ways he obtained glory were by struggling with the demonic. It’s a motif written by a Christian Monk trying to tell a group of people to stop killing each other and focus on Christ by struggling with the demonic and not fighting amongst each other. That’s hardly conceited, and the most glory comes, according to the crux of Beowulf, from the most triumphant victory over the demonic. And, of course, Beowulf always asks God, Jesus, to help him slay that beast.

And before one thumbs their nose at me for bringing up Christianity, let me point out to one that the book was written by a Christian monk in order to teach people Christian values in a culture that was completely secular. This is not disputed. What is disputed is, of course, whether Beowulf was conceited. And, of course the world wants him to be because we have this incessant need to vilify heroes in modern day. So, keep that in mind.

As one brought up some interesting points after reading this essay, and perhaps one can benefit from this:

There are three main devices I usually see. There’s the battles, which are the main device, of course. There’s the retelling of battles which shouldn’t be confused with the boasts; then there’s sharing gold. Two secondary devices are the retelling of history and then one has the three boasts.

The main device is of course the battles, which are there to reinforce the motif of diplomacy, struggling against the demonic, and this reinforces the gold sharing as something more than just sharing gold. It’s a diplomatic action and symbolizes the new bond between the Geats and the Danes. The retelling of battles is just what people do in the Mead-hall. It’s historically always been that way, and if one goes to a bar today, things aren’t much different. There’s the Beowulf, telling his mighty deeds, and then there’s the Unferth, that annoying guy trying to discredit Beowulf. People like to tell their exploits. Everyone has their stories of heroism, and Beowulf of course has his, and rightly so.

Then we get to the other two devices. The retelling of history is normally where we find the poem’s disdain for human violence. We see battles, kings being killed in battle, a lot of inglorious things happen in these historical events. And, the tone takes a rather disapproving gesture toward these wars with men, and it kind of hints at saying “Why aren’t we fighting against the Grendel of the world, but are still fighting men? There is no glory in killing men because men are weak, they are easy and they are inglorious to kill.” Then we have the boasts. And, somehow people get here and say, “Aha! Beowulf is awful, and conceited, and he has all of these great things to say about himself.” I say one does that same thing when one creates a job resume. Beowulf’s boasts are his proof to Hrothgar that he can get the job done. It’s not this conceited thing; it’s Beowulf simply trying to get the opportunity to fight against a strong foe.

Some themes are of course Glory and Honor, but these are put toward diplomacy, struggling against the demonic through Christ, being faithful, being a righteous leader… the glory is never, once, directed at secular things. It’s always there to elevate some form of idea relating to Christian morality. Justice, Peace, Friendship, Bravery in the face of wickedness (Which is very Christian).

And, that’s what I have to say. Also, Beowulf’s confidence was “Conviction” not “Convention” or “Conceit.” Beowulf believed he could fight this battle, and Beowulf won because of his great faith.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAcaj6xeSSA&t=1s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZMwdXDuZqc