[I]nfinity is a difficult concept. Like, calculus assumes an infinite to divide and get a correct solution--which is a lot like how I understand faith to be.

Like, it's just so hard for people to understand. You can have infinites in one dimension, that are smaller than infinites in two, which are smaller than infinites in three... and so forth. I think everyone should take a basic Algebra class, to understand that stuff.

But, why we know Christ is LORD, is what He spoke. I learned for 30 years--since I was 5--and was in intensive education, first in school and then on my own. Jesus had none of that. He was from Galilee, poorer than you know. We have houses unearthed in Galilee, they'd be the size of my living room. The Psalmist says He had no bed, and was thrown out of His house. He was homeless... and kind of struggling mentally with that, too. You see He's stressed out in His ministry, but He always keeps composure. He's not Schizophrenic at all. I am... but He's not. He's fully cognizant and in a time without medications, so His condition could only get worse and not better if He were crazy. And nothing shows that He was. Not anything we've seen about Him. And He was just an extremely gifted human being. Fully salient, fully in His right mind, and performing miracles. Jesus is the Son of God, for those reasons.

I think this is what true Christianity looks like. I don't think he's boasting at all, but signaling what it means to genuinely repent. I deleted a ton of bootlegged songs--about 1000--I stopped playing violent video games, I stopped cussing for the most part--sometimes one slips--I stopped masterbating and watching porn--now the Lord gives me dreams which I don't like, but some have been prophetic, I guess my shadow has to be purged there, where it's lawful--I can't watch movies practically, unless they're utmost pure, like the Wizard of Oz. I did watch 8 Crazy Nights recently, and About Time. I hide my eyes at the nudity and fast forward through the sex scenes. I mean, I'm not hyper vigilant and so afraid to sin that I despair every time I do it... But I do think this is what it means to be saved. And also to have a charitable heart for giving, and showing kindness as it's not just about what you don't do, but also how you care about other people.

But some things I've stopped doing also--that many Christians do--is judging and prophesying and using spiritual curses. I think Christians do this, and it's akin to black magic, when you cast and heap judgment on people. You are taught to do this, by reading the Old Testament, but Christ frees us from that curse, and our job isn't to yoke believers or unbelievers to that curse, but unyoke them and yoke them to Christ.

True salvation is marked by not wanting to sin. Like, it hurts to do it, and you just don't want to. Also an unwillingness to use deception, or lie, and cheat and steal. And also self sacrifice, willing to risk yourself if it means helping someone else. And being open and vulnerable, as Christ was an Open Conservative.

So, I think Christians judge a lot, and condemn, and vilify, and especially are antagonistic against Creativity. Like, it's either "Holy of Holies" or "Profane." There's no Michelangelo or C. S. Lewis or Tolkien allowed anymore. William Blake is Anathema, and only the Bible exists to teach us. That's simply not true... you need to derive correct analysis of the Bible to help you interpret other people, but generally, you learn a lot from other people, and reflecting what they say through the Bible. And embracing when they might have a clear point.

Like I learn a lot from Emily Dickenson. About a stale faith, that tortured people with what it forbade, and didn't let people express their creativity or be a little bit different. That's just as bad as a faith that lets every conceivable thing happen, so long as it's not breaking the State's Law, it doesn't matter. The Bible is a higher law, reflected in the conscience. It's not a legality, but a reflection of man's natural state of Justice. And I think we can go a little overboard with it, which is why I think the Bible can be unproductive for some people's faith, and a hindrance to it.

But, Isaiah's faith is exemplary. I wouldn't fault him for trying to live righteously, or anyone for that matter. That's why we have the Bible in the first place.

34 And Simeon blessed them, and said unto Mary his mother, Behold, this child is set for the fall and rising again of many in Israel; and for a sign which shall be spoken against;
35 (Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also,) that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.

This is a word given to Mary in the Christmas Narrative, and Simeon blesses Mary by saying the child is set for the fall and rising of many in Israel. What that means, is they fall and  sin unto death, but then rise and come up with Salvation. But many shall speak against this sign. And it shall be a sword that shall pierce through Mary's own soul. And also ours, we shall be divided, but our sin cut off like through a circumcision knife. And whatever the true thoughts of man are, they will appear when the true Gospel is being preached. And whatever their reaction, that is the thoughts and intents of a man's truest heart. So if a savor unto death, it is death, and if vile the heart of man is vile. But, if blessed, and not blasphemous, it is a light in the soul and a lamp to the feet.

If you murder, rape, steal or destroy, you caused a person harm. If you teased, bullied, humiliated or destroyed someone’s self esteem, also that’s something you can never take back.

So, the question here, is what sins have you committed that have made a serious impact on someone else? You know? What has shamed them, destroyed their character, moved them from the paths of righteousness, and into sin… what things have you done, that have caused others to err off the way, and miss the mark?

So, there’s no good you can do, to help build up the people you’ve destroyed. Only Christ can do that, and cover your Sins with His blood. Only Christ can make good of your sin, and use it effectively to work good in the world. That may sound strange… of course. Paul murdered Stephen, but generally, it worked salvation in so many because it taught Paul humility and how to love and not judge, and Paul was given a core aspect of the Gospel, in explaining how the Law is Abolished, in Christ Jesus, and the testimony of condemnation is nailed into His Hands and Feet. So, anything that was meant to destroy you, was now turned and nullified. Only, so you can live in a pure conscience and live righteously, and no longer walk according to your previous error.

So, you’ve destroyed people many times. You’ve hurt them, in such ways that you cannot understand. In such ways that deserve death, and no amount of good deeds can fix that. Only their forgiveness, and that for themselves. As holding onto wrongdoing doesn’t do anything but destroy your soul.

So… we’re to be freed from condemnation and judgment. We’re rather to love and unconditionally, as it says “Love covers the multitude of sins”, we’re to keep our love—not, in a very Wagner sort of way, forfeit it, and therefore gain the power to obtain the world. We’re not to forfeit love, or righteous attachments. For, the Law would condemn everyone to death, and would have you an enemy with all men just to save yourself. But, Christ took that into HIs flesh, and raised, and you raised with Him in baptism, and through that, you’ll enter into the Feast with Him at His temple in Zion.

But, only Christ can right what you’ve wronged. Only He has the power to make you holy, and keep you on the paths of righteousness. And that through a desire to fear His name. Only Christ has the power to save, and make you right with God, and do good through your wicked deeds, and make them right again.

St. Broom was 16 years old when he began to worship the LORD. He did that which was right before the LORD, all the days of his life. He was an exceedingly wicked child, though, who made many evil deeds, and lived in conscience to remedy and restore whom he had wronged. Yet, his victims were unmerciful, and contracted many enchantments to devil him, and through observing times, and enchantments and employing even fallen Seraphim and many sorcerers, they tormented him all the days until now. Yet, he departed not from the LORD, and even was caused to think he blasphemed, but had not, for Satan had spoken to him in dreams, and caused his mind to be tormented. All for childish visions, Satan had restored nothing which the enemies of St. Broom had stolen from him, and they were sore wroth all the days of their life. Yet this St. Broom had, he never bowed a knee to Baal, but spoke right of the LORD and all His statutes, even in confused times. And was restored to a good conscience in Christ Jesus. Nor did he use enchantments or witchcraft, yet was a very learned man.

A good way of reading the Bible is like a meal. The Torah is Cooked Vegetables, the Gospels Meat, the Prophets and Psalms Potatoes, Rice and Pasta, the Epistles bread, and the Histories cold salad, and the Wisdom Literature soup. And the Apocrypha and Apostolic Fathers and Church Historians are dessert.

Like, not eating meat you'd get anemic. Not having vegetables you'd lack vitamins. The Epistles are very nourishing and filling, but kind of over consumed, I think--that's why I chose bread. The prophets and psalms make you fat--in a good way. The wisdom literature is a lot like a bowl of soup because it's hot, spicy, and one of the best parts of the meal. The histories you don't want to eat--like Salad--but are vital. And the Apocrypha and Church Fathers and Church Historians are a little sweet you eat, knowing you're being a bit naughty, but it's actually good for your courage and satisfaction in life.

The way I beat it was just restricting access to my phone's internet. Now I have wet dreams, which I don't think is sinful. Maybe God knows if you're honest, He'll give you what you need when you sleep? As that's hardwired into you. So are violent video games, which God will sometimes give me violent dreams. And I wake up, feel sad, but realize it was only a dream.