I'm a Narcissist

Perhaps I am, after studying 20 years
A know nothing fool, who hasn't written 
A single good poem. Perhaps I ought
To make a fortune... and seek not true love.
Perhaps I ought be unkind and cruel
For that is kindness in today's world.
Not speak truth--nor think there is truth.
Mr. Cross, I am a narcissist as you claimed
Guilty as charged. I love hard
And that's not allowed. I am kind
And that's naughty. Am I even humble?
Is humility a not boast and no self respect?
Yes... humility is to love myself
Inordinately more than anyone else.
Which I do not, so thus I am a narcissist.
In our modern, conflated definition of the word
That doesn't make sense.
Just like our definition for Equity
No longer strikes to the core of truth
But is rather about inequity in all things.
So, to be the narcissist is to feel pain
For others' suffering, and want to right what's wrong.
And to humbly proclaim there is no truth
And there is no God, and that all who love
Their Neighbor are narcissists too.
That is humility, and self sacrifice and love,
Is to know thyself, and love only thyself,
And do all for thyself, and no other.
Only than can you not be one. Only then.
A true narcissist.

Patriotic hymns are racist.
One must not kiss without consent.
American fortune is a grievous shame.
What even is Easter? That's not a big deal anymore.
The founding Fathers were Slave Owners, and Tesla also invented the Light Bulb.
Columbus was a dolt who calculated the Earth wrong.
Halloween is racist, but if we must, make it bloody scary.
The Pilgrims genocided the Native Americans.
Christmas is a Fascist Holiday made to lubricate the Consumerist Machine.

Then, we sing Auld Lang Sine every New Years Eve
And play our patriotic hymns in the morning
Before every class... how the children sing.

Then, Eros, that Cupid, the baby cherub
Brings his arrows of bliss, and shoots his
Tarths at lovers, to cause them to make love.

The rainbow, at its end, is a pot of gold,
And fortune is found by chasing it, for it ends
And the Leprechauns play every March.

Then the Easter Bunny hides our toys
And all our candies, and our airplane
Gliders, and our painted eggs. Such joy.

In the morn, Mother nature and Father time
Consummate their marriage, and by evolution
Do they create the world, like a Fantasia.

Then we know George Washington never told a lie,
And Ben Franklin invented Electricity,
And Thomas Edison invented the light bulb after 100 tries.

We know Columbus sailed the Ocean Blue in 1492
Because he knew the Earth was round, and that
He'd sail to the coast of India if he just believed.

In 1776, the Declaration of Independence was signed
And on that very day, Revolution started, because 
Of the first shot fired at Concord and Lexington.

Then the Spooks, Ghouls and Goblins and jack o'lanterns 
Come out for a scare, and the skeletons
And the witches, and there are Parades and Trick or Treat.

Then in the cornucopia, we find our Harvest's fruits
There, pumpkin, and apples, and turkey, and corn
And and potatoes, which the Pilgrims shared with the Indians.

Finally, the big finale, St. Nicholas rides his sleigh
With a sack of toys for all the good little boys and girls,
In red raiment, and pulled by Rudolf and his friends.

I say it was good. Not believed, save for the hearty love it inspired.

Fiery carnelian and topaz leaves
Upon the trees, the bare tops swaying in the breeze,
I walk upon a path, smelling the musk
Of a lover, the leaves in their mulching
Give off the subtle scent of a beautiful woman;
It hints ever so slightly, as the Buck
With its white tail raised like a mercy flag
Crosses the path in the flash of an eye.
Be careful, calm, do not stir the beast
Lest it trample you, but go on your way.
At the last, a little chipmunk interrupts
My prayers, in a frantic stirring
Preparing for Winter's stores
By finding the fat of fall's harvest.

I do not understand, why some men's prayers are not heard...
But all of mine have been heard, and answered with grace.
The fact that a priest harms a child, I do not know why some are
And some are not... in fact the great majority are not.
I do not understand it, how wrath wrests on one man
And not another, forbearing to know providence watches
Over one man, and not another. One man gains fortune
Another man gains great sorrows, and never repents.
I do not understand it, actually. Other than by divine Omniscience
God protects those whom He foreknew, while the rest of mankind
Perishes in the disease which they bathe in like a pig in its own shit.
I do not understand it, but I see the mein and speech of men
And I say, "There can be nothing but hell for their cruel abuses."
For every day I see men worse than any other, speaking their curses
Over the world, and souring it for all. And they deserve damnation.
One child is molested, but finds forever faith and is reborn.
Another child is not molested, but loses faith in God, and commits
Tyranny with their words so foul, so as to never let anyone enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.
By some act, of divine miracle, a man cleaves to his faith and does not alter.
By some act, they see the evidence--all of it--and they are established.
While, another man, cannot read the very words you read
And will never understand them. And so some perish, and some do not.

The skill, is to make a man think not
Of what he sees, but what he's told.
For, if they can tell you the sun is green
They can tell you a woman is a man.
Thus, the framework for reason
Is destroyed, and replaced by power.
For by striving, none look into the nether
Of our hard geometry, but use algebra
Only, to systematize belief and whim
Over the concrete thing itself.
Thus, by persuading man he cannot
Look at it too, and form his own conclusions
He can then be told about how to think of it.

Time Line of B. K. Neifert

July 23^rd, 1989 – B. K. Neifert is Born

November 9^th, 1989 – The Berlin Wall Falls

September 11^th, 2001 – The Twin Towers are Attacked

October 7^th, 2001 – The War in Afghanistan begins. A seminal influence in B. K. Neifert’s work.

October 26^th, 2001 – The Patriot Act is Signed, which brings a decrease in United States’ Freedom, and influences Neifert’s earliest works, when he notices the decline in American prosperity and freedom.

May 20^th, 2003 – The Iraq War is initiated, which Neifert’s dad was a heavy critic of, and influenced Neifert’s disdain for American overseas interventions.

2005 – Neifert, in the summer leading up to his Junior Year of High School, begins his first attempt at serious writing, as he pens an erotic science fiction novel, and head ways about 50,000 words into it. He never finishes it, and deleted all source copies of the work. But, some of its themes feature in Neifert’s earlier works, such as idealized romance; and the “Necromancer” from this early work makes its first appearance in what is possibly the beginning of Neifert’s doppelganger theme.

2006 – Neifert begins the Fifth Angel’s Trumpet, which was originally from a game in his child’s play.

2008 – Barack Obama is elected the First Black President of the United States.

2008 – 2009 – B. K. Neifert is arrested and convicted of two counts of simple assault and two counts of reckless endangerment, spurred by a psychotic episode where he vehicular assaulted two teenagers. He receives treatment for mental illness his entire life, and makes a successful recovery.

2010 – Neifert pens Utopia and 316 of the maxims found in The Wisdom of B. K. Neifert.

2011 – Neifert is inspired to write flash fiction from a Writer’s Market Magazine, and does substantial work on A Brief Space Opera. He also pioneers his style which he will use for The Riddle in the Sea, A Brief Space Opera and Solomon’s Romance.

2012 -2013 – Neifert has written several unsuccessful essay pieces and quasi cultish pieces, which he never attempts to publish. He also attends college courses at Harrisburg Area Community College, where he takes a fruitful Creative Writing Course and learns about Existentialism and Platonism in Philosophy – He also receives a comprehensive Humanities education, being exposed to the world’s most famous art. He also is inspired to write Prestor John and the Children’s Crusade when they are mentioned in a Western History Class, which the same professor also assigned reading to Neifert’s brother which would later become highly inspirational to Neifert’s work.

2013 – 2014 – Neifert makes a full confession of his entire life’s history and criminal behavior to a police officer. While awaiting his trial, and the time he’d spend in York County Jail, he finishes The Fifth Angel’s Trumpet. How to Write is started.

2014 – Neifert spends 5 months in jail, where he writes the narrative poems which will appear in “What is Poetry” and additional stories for A Brief Space Opera.

2015 – Donald Trump reveals he will run for President, and Neifert, through his political leanings, stays skeptical. Even at some points calling Donald Trump the Antichrist. Neifert also composes his first poetry album, “Bitter Medicine.”

2015 – The Baltimore Riots break out, foreshadowing racial tensions within the United States, over the death of Freddie Grey.

2016 – Neifert is left off his strict probation, and begins writing The Amelia Chronicles. Neifert also watches Yale Courses Online, lectures by Paul Fry, about Literary Theory and develops a comprehensive literary method, which he uses to interpret many of the world’s most famous works of literature.

2017 – Neifert writes what is possibly his most significant piece, Hail Britannica. He dreamed the plot, and wrote the entire epic over the course of 2017, using an Encarta Encyclopedia from 2004 as a base for the factual details, and also an Encarta Dictionary to help him look up Etymologies and find German rooted words for his Fairy Tale.

2018 – Neifert composes most of Fairyland, especially the Odes of Brittos, The Ballad of Maddok, Prestor John and The Tale of Subang. He also begins to create the mythology of the Thirteen Kings, compiling them into two early works, one of which is called “Young Shadows”.

2019 – Neifert writes The Elf in Manhattan and The Most Bitter Thought which will appear in his third draft of “My Collected Writings.” Neifert also Hand Writes The Tragedy of Joan of Arc (Having severe Dysgraphia from when he fell and hit his head as a four year old, he overcame the disability and hand wrote some of his major pieces).

2020 – 2021 – Covid19 Pandemic brings the Entire World to a Screeching Halt. Neifert uses this time to comprehensively edit his work, and begins “The American Mythology.”

August of 2021 – The U.S. officially announces Combat Missions end in Iraq, for the second time, and the Taliban regain control of Afghanistan after the U.S.’s disastrous withdrawal under Joe Biden.

2022 – How to Write is finally completed. And Neifert also finishes The Amelia Chronicles. And he writes the Prose Mythos. He also writes The Master Key.

2020 – 2023 – Neifert composes thousands of his poems – which he will become known for – including The Odes of Strangers series, The Trilogy of Sonnets, The Three Hyperion Themes and starts to compose his wisdom literature. He also consolidates his smaller, random publications into more comprehensive and polished volumes.

Late Summer – Mid Fall 2023 – Neifert writes Artemis XX, The Third Reich, Theseus and Brittos, Ayin and Athrin and Cyrus Versus Julius Caesar.

Winter 2024: Neifert writes The Theme, hoping to compose a 150 canto poem, but has materials enough for 30.

The child, borne in a world with no danger,
When she grows to adulthood, does not know
When she puts her fellow daughter in danger.
So, the Fruitree must be in the garden.

So also, by some strange force of providence
There will be those grown in such a way
To understand this, and wear it close to their heart
And then another who cannot; who is already damned.

The boys play with their plastic toys
The girls complain of cuties.
The feminist's heart is no different
Than the man who still plays make-believe.
It's a mark of immaturity.

Instinct, duly said, is what brings the Robin
Cross her country migration, and back to her nest.
Or it brings said Youthful Robin back to the place where it was born.
Is it instinct? Or a bestowal of some strange providence?
For, at the State Park, what I find unimaginable,
Is the Cardinal in his brilliant, red plumage
And the Goldfinch in his winter black
And the golden sliver upon his tailfin,
And I look upon these beautiful specimens.
Strangely enough, I recall such people
Who are similar always at the park the same hour;
I walk through the park, and see birds of a feather
Flocking together, and I like the Blue Heron
Stand on my perch, observing them and their strange
Mein, making its impression on me.