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A Midrash

Why do you worry about crucifixes, Christmas and pork, when you smoke Marijuana and hate your brethren, and curse with every fiber of your being? Do figs get gathered from thorn bushes, or grapes from thistles? Does not a prophet bear good fruit, and not bitter poisons of hatred, slander and hard heartedness? If righteousness could be offered by observing dead rites and rituals, why didn’t it deliver the Pharisees who were before you? No, they were condemned before Christ. If those rituals could save you, then neglect peace, love and forgiveness, why then I’d account it rubbish and worthless religion. Rather, Christ did away with the Old Testament, in place of a New, so men could worship freely through Charity and not wasted oblations.

At the Mall

At the mall, I'm sitting
And minding my own business.
A janitor comes up behind me.
He politely asks me if I can move...
My dad is buying my soda.
He then tells me, "God has a way of 
"Putting people in your life
"At the just the right moment.
"He provides for you what you need."
I politely get my Coke
And realizing I was rude
Come back, and try to give him a business card;
But I didn't have any on me,
And told him I was a writer.
He told me he was a writer, too,
Thinking at first I was begging for some money.
He wrote "Hell of the Black Dusk."
I search... the engines are hiding it;
Or he lied to me.
Either way, I am at an impasse.
As Sun Tsu said, if you must succeed
Hedge your army at an impasse
Or die.
I either die a writer
Or I live a writer.
I've spent too much time on this,
And can't bear the rejections from McDonald's and Subway anymore.
People have this habit of babbling to me religious platitudes
Not realizing I have a purpose.
This is it.
I knew it wasn't from God because it seemed mean
And seemed more like war than peace.
But, I entertained him all the more...
What's the chance of meeting a published janitor
At the Mall telling you you need to get a job
And God provides the right person at the right time?
I believe in miracles, just not when they
Bristle at the thought of someone buying their precious book
And then get belligerent with you for trying to ask him.

Two Poems from My Notebook

 On Keats' Ode to May Fragment

The mayflowers scent
The forest. My verse
Legendarium--left
To a little clan
As I die upon
the grass one glorious day
Passed down through
Twenty generations--
No, Ten Thousand!
Yet, my little life
Of mad verse was sore
A legacy meant nothing
To me... only the fire
Of truth and a crock
Of lamb stew, fed
By the price of this labor.
What's more, if paradise
Does not open its
Door for me, and I
Not let in,---what was
This labor for but a
Noble pursuit of God's
Face? And if it will
Not be a guide for
Those seeking the same,
I am equally perplexed.

The Good Walk

I did a good
Walk... discussions were
Wide, and large.
Jokes, globalization,
Then we discussed
The historicity of the Bible.
Went down the line.
Discussion was robust.
Walking, I saw a 
Home with a camera.
It whistled and took
My picture.
I don't pretend
To know politics.
But I know I
Don't want my picture
Taken, while walking
Down the street.
I smelled the
Peonies, my Mimi's favorite
Flower--my favorite Roses are Peonies
But smell just like the Rose of Sharon
There is no thorn, but I'll still call them roses--
White and voluptuous were these
Like a rose,
But dissimilar.

The Two Kings and the Saint

King David and Prince Cuchulain 
Lived in stern competition with one another.
Let me account now, of their kingdoms.

David's kingdom elevated the ease of life;
He sought no history, but rather wanted all
For present day. He thought to himself,
"Ancient times were so barbaric
"And men's hearts are not cruel.
"I have the heart of a man;
"I know my fellow well.
"They need no virtue but only wetness of fluids
"From kisses and congress. There is no god
"Thus, all there is in life is here.
"Let them have a good life
"Unbound by law."

Cuchulain was ancient, however 
Believed the strong must prosper
And the weak must die and said,
"Men must be strong, and manly.
"They must live by the ancient rites of olden times.
"They must nurture themselves to be strong
"And noble. And must fight.
"Learn to seize the prize, and spoil the enemy.
"And nobility is in how well we accustom ourselves
"To taking the prey, and doing the exploit.
"For suffering comes when the booty gets plundered
"By your enemy, and you must help your people.
"For only by being strong, and willing not to spare, can you have peace."

The two nobles hated one another
And so St. Patrick came by upon his steed.
He dismounted and sat between them,
Seeing them martial their armies.
From the East, Darius and Cyrus martialed
War toward the West, as these two
Kings were ready to fight one another.
St. Patrick knew no one was safe
For the war was grave coming...
Two kings divided
And two kings unified.

Yet, quickly as it came,
Cuchulain lifted up his array
And while David was preparing
Cuchulain won the people's heart
And they became savages.
They were beasts, every one of them.
And so when Cyrus and Darius
Arrived upon the shores of Ireland,
Great war erupted.

St. Patrick, however, loved the people very much
Seeing the great loss of dignity in the world
And worrying that all would be forgotten, said
"Know ye not the ancient customs?
"Love, peace and joy, and family?
"And God? Yes, there is a time for war
"And a time to uproot, but no man shall
"Have peace with his neighbor
"If all he is preoccupied with is sex
"Or all he is preoccupied with is war.
"Life is not about taking the spoil or prey.
"Life is about hearty friendship with the soil
"And the beauty and treasure of other souls."

Byzantium

Declining empire, a Shadow of Rome---
You fight to take all the Roman Territories back.
But, are invaded by Huns and Germans
Goths and Visigoths, Vikings and Barbarians.
The institutions are not so powerful
With various booms and busts.
Muslims then invade, and Crusades.
You bulwark the West
And Schism from Rome
And are now Orthodox Christians.
You rule over religious rites
You make encyclopedias---
You bring the idea to Da Vinci
By routes to Italy in the Fifteenth Century
And Da Vinci compiles empirical observations
And invents the Compendium of Science.
That goes to Britain, and America
While Masons forge their best interests
And their many interests in Geometry and Magic
To create a world where illusions are made
Into leisure. And then Prometheus gives fire
To man, and Industry excels and man has comfort---
The poorest of all were more situated than kings.
And then Arab princes invade, and smash
And European princes apologize for making the world better.
And Irishmen dawn the horns of demons
And metastasize the West with belief in Fairies again.

On Diagnosing and Treating Mental Illness

Freud said most neuroses were a matter of conscience. That you've violated it in some way, and therefore your mind becomes filled with them. And there's no getting back from that, once you did. You just have to know God  saves you, and through His guidance, work to better yourself.

Things like ADHD and Autism need not be diagnosed. They're just human beings. We have to let people be what they are, and not try to label everything, otherwise the person feels crippled their entire life, and never actually accomplishes anything.

Well, I'd just say a lot of diseases aren't physical, but rather subconscious. Most of it comes from deep rooted distrust in oneself, or one's actions. The best way to address mental illness, is confession, forgiveness, and then restoration. As that's how I've dealt with mine. And it seemed to work. 

Most of your diseases are caused by guilt. They're rooted in that. So, the best thing is to deal with the guilt--assuming you don't have a bad therapist who just lays it on you and gaslights you--is restore the bushels you can restore, and live at peace because you can never make full restitution. That's Who Christ is.

Just remember, the LORD is very real, and most psychological issues are generational curses or something that one incepts in themselves. I've seen a lot of things in my life, saying people are "Biologically" disposed toward these illnesses, while true to a certain extent, don't discount the LORD's autonomy in the healing process, or His Law as a means of restoring one's conscience, which the illness is kind of like a sear in conscience. We have to be responsible for ourselves, and take accountability for our own actions.

You wonder how people made it before all this stuff? They seemed to have a handle on it, until the very field of Psychology made everything so backward, that now nobody can function.

I don't take any antidepressants. Just 5 milligrams of Risperidone, because that's one of the medicines that actually do work. Antipsychotics are a necessity. One of my fears is losing my insurance, and then not being able to get them. Which Trump's trying to make it harder to be on Medicaid, which is something I absolutely need. And [...] Not taking advantage of anyone, it's just something I need. That's a whole other issue... I get stressed when I'm around lots of people, and don't deal with workplace politics well. And I start having delusions, which interfere with my work.

I'd say the stuff for Bi Polar and Psychosis are the only real drugs out there that have true effects. Everything else is best managed through therapy and self discipline. Or finding careers that suit you, like Mozart had ADHD and was a brilliant composer. It's just when people have ADHD or Autism there's careers they do better at, and the psychology field is trying to medicate it to fit a square peg into a round hole. 

Also, a lot of our great poets and Philosophers had Schizophrenia. Some of the best Rock Songs are written by schizophrenic people. The Romantics about 60% of them had schizophrenia, the others psychopathy or borderline personality disorder or drug addiction. Our great Sci Fi and Horror writers like Philip K. Dick and H. P. Lovecraft both had schizophrenia--that's why you half believe it, which is good for the soul, I think, as it rests the subconscious when a Schizophrenic tells those dark substances, and purges it with literature. Tolkien had PTSD from fighting in the trenches, and had disorganized thinking; I think he actually believed in elves, some evidence would suggest. C. S. Lewis may have had Schizophrenia, based on a hallucination he describes in That Hideous Strength. William Blake was schizophrenic, but lived a wildly interesting life. He was happily married, but ABSOLUTELY INSANE. Lol. I imagine him without writing, that was his medication back then. Lol. Lots of writers who had mental illness. Mark Twain half believed in magic, and used Materialism as a way to ease his mind--that's why he didn't like the 19th century's trend of calling stories "True", and also hated Caxton. Earnest Hemingway had Schizophrenia, probably onset by moral injuries in the Spanish Civil War.

Does Being Rich Make You Less of a Christian?

No, not necessarily. You can be loved and rich as a Christian.

Riches don’t mean you’re righteous or unrighteous. They simply are rewarded to the person who works. So, a drug dealer who works, gets rich. It’s not good money, but they get rich. They get bombshell girlfriends. They get lots of power. And they continue until they’re old—most of them, unless they ticked off higher powers than themselves—and they die old men and living like kings.

You also have the lowest poor, who steal, rob, rape, murder, will be in and out of prison, will oppress other homeless people, will cause all sorts of harm on themselves and society. And there’s lots and lots of poor people just like this.

And you also have rich men, who give fortunes to the poor, and build schools and hospitals and charities, and do all sorts of great feats of wonders for the world. They do so many wonderful things, build projects in the ghettos, supply clean water to isolated villages, lift MILLIONS OUT OF POVERTY. They actively make the world a better place.

And you also have righteous people who are homeless, persecuted, have sores on them, many mental illnesses and many diseases, and can’t get up, and are scum of the earth.

What’s to understand, is you can’t buy a stairway to heaven. That poor person who can do nothing for anyone but himself, but rather lives righteously, is just as pleasing in God’s eyes as the Billionaire who does great feats of wonderful charity for all. This is why you can’t earn salvation, because then the rich would be at an advantage, and the poor not. So… that’s why Jesus praised the widow giving in her two mites. It wasn’t out of spite that she did that, either… some people say it was a spiteful ritual. No… she gave in freewill and faith, and it was all she had. And the Pharisees were scorning her for giving what she could. But, she couldn’t give anymore, and they thought due to their riches, God showered them with favor, and that their tithing of mint and dill and cummin was better than the Widow’s. That’s not true.