How I Wish it Was Your Shadow Which Touched Mine

How I wish it was your shadow
Which touched mine.
How I wish in every evening 
Glow, that you found me
And were secretly my shadow.

If at one moment, 
You stood behind, waiting for me.
All I had to do was ask for you,
And you'd appear.

Yet, I have said,
"Do not be..."
Because I do not want a shadow.
For when I ask for you,
You do not appear.
No... you do not appear.

Hope is in every woman
With that familiar face.
I see you everywhere.
In the neighbor
At the mall
On the computer screen
The author of a poem
When I am driving through the local towns.

There you are,
Your face,
And I think, "It is her
"And all I have to do is reach out for her."
Look. It is not you.
Your familiar face,
If I could just have just one of you.
But, it is not the face I want.
No. It is you.
I find you on several dozen faces,
And each of them I want.
At the state park,
At my desk in school,
At the retirement home where I volunteered.
Though, it is not you.
It never is.

I get into a bitter fight today
And I lose hope that you exist.
Because men complicate simple truths with obfuscated 
Legalities, and political points
And hard to swallow talking points.
All I want is you.
And yet, when I call,
As I always try to call,
You are gone.
You do not come when I call for you.
When I'm at the family picnic
I walk down to the wine cellar
And I imagine you walking in,
And introducing our children;
For our love was a secret.
Whatever reason.
But, I walk upstairs,
And you do not come.
And I drink my cup
And I look into it...
I know I'm not supposed to...
And I sigh.