Authors Summed Up in One Sentence

Jane Austen: Love is her theme; love and money, and the chase.

Leo Tolstoy: No author ever made more realistic characters.

Dostoevsky: Nietzsche was his muse, and God.

Charles Dickens: Quirky, but not awful; verbose, but not philosophical.

T. S. Eliot: His poems are about a Sociopathic Professor; or rather, the model tenure of academia.

Bulfinch: The best way to know mythology, is to read it from him first.

Shakespeare: A man whose entire life is reflected in his plays.

C. S. Lewis: He was the greatest apologist.

Lewis Carroll: He wrote proper nonsense.

Grimm's Brothers: Fortune is their theme, and how to win or lose it.

Hans Christian Andersen: Life's absurdity and injustice marks his pages, how the good guy doesn't always win, but sometimes the bad guy does. A humble lesson.

Ray Bradbury: He wrote the addictive substance that gets someone onto reading.

Baron Byron: The bad boy of poetry, with a tender heart.

Keats: Wrote about bar maids and stable girls who he deflowered while drinking beer.

Earnest Hemingway: A true man.

F. Scott Fitzgerald: A dandy filled with love, but who knows for whom?

Frank Herbert: Wrote on Space Religions, and convincingly made a fable on why not to gain the world.

Isaac Asimov: Wrote on Space Empires and their Social Sciences convincingly.

John Bunyan: A man who lived a life as tumultuous as Christian's.

William Wordsworth: The great Philosopher.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge: Truly, his muse was always a menage a trois with his wife and paramour.

Mark Twain: He hated fiction, but wrote a whole lot of it.

George Orwell: Knew what he was talking about, and wrote extensively on what to look out for.

Aldous Huxley: Wrote what he thought was a Utopian Novel, but it shocked so many people, it was called a "Dystopia."

Ayn Rand: Knowledgeable about art, but her characters were sociopaths.

Emily Dickensen: The beautiful mind of a beautiful agnostic.

Harper Lee: A voice crying in the wilderness these days, and probably what kids need to hear.

Alexander Solzhenitsyn: Told us what Russia really was, but also didn't like America, either.

John Steinbeck: Wise, but boring; though still wise, and should absolutely be read.

Jules Verne: Just about the only thing I like from him, is his submarine.

Robert Frost: A man who didn't like to work, but also wrote a bunch about it.

Johnathan Swift: He spoke realpolitik, and only gets more interesting as he progresses.

G. K. Chesterton: A thinking man's Christian.

John Milton: Wrote the best proof of God's existence, but nobody reads that far.

Seamus Heaney: A true logo centric genius.

Karl Marx: Wrong about his solution, but right in his diagnosis.

Walt Whitman: Deceptively simple.

Aesop: Stories with big metaphors.

Eric Hoffer: A vaccine against social movements.

Montaigne: Wrote about everything, and we like to think he shows us people were immoral all along: but consider, that was as bad as society got back then.

Ovid: A Roman who indulged in his culture's licenses.

Horace: A Roman who documented the beginning of his country's fall.

Confucius: A wise sage.

Mencius: An even wiser sage.

Geoffrey Chaucer: Shows the dirty little secrets of back then, but also had a merry heart.