I am not Nebo or Chemosh because

I have not lived at ease from my youth.

I have been in captivity.

What I want in life

Is to write books.

I want to give billions of dollars to charity.

I want a small house.

I want children.

I want a good wife.

I want to play jazz.

I want to cook five star meals.

I want to go to heaven.

I want to sweat every day.

I want to wake up at four thirty in the morning every day.

I want my work to be read by kings.

I want to pass down my knowledge to someone.

I want to see five thousand sunrises.

I want to be a prison minister.

I want to be a peer support specialist.

I want an honorary doctorate.

I want to never set foot in a college class again.

I want to eat from my work.

I want to be an expert gardener.

I want to raise horses.

 

Fairyland is stale.

But I need a story.

Got one the other day.

Got two chapters into it,

Will probably finish it.

 

Did a terribly frightening story last night.

Will not publish that one.

It scares me. A Dystopian poem

That is more like a horror movie.

When I go dark, like I did with Utopia

I normally will spend a lot of time making it lighter.

 

I don’t think I have that urge to write,

Though. It’s like I’ve already climbed Everest.

What’s there next?

 

It’s going to be hard to generate ideas.

I do have one good one at the moment.

One good one

Another I intend to do about David and Absalom.

So, Subang, this poem I’m writing, David and Absalom

And of course this ugly thing I have to fix…

Those will probably be my next published book.

 

I have another work I’m working on.

Of course. That one is nature poetry.

That will take some time to get done.

I have all summer, and a long time after

To go. That one is more a simple style

Simplistic metaphors

Just nothing so crazy.

 

Some untapped styles are of course Metaphor driven nature poems.

But I don’t have the mind to really do it.

I normally express myself better through narrative

Because it has existential structure.

That, in laymen’s terms

Is plot. But, more specifically

Time and action in narrative.

It’s a really technical term

That normally gets applied to one’s ability

To navigate time in their works.

Linking together events

Things like that.

I’m really good at that.

I’m good at finding meaning within

Action… Parables are interesting for that reason.

 

However, driving at metaphors

Without stories is kind of difficult for me.

And, the stories are starting to run out…

So to speak. I don’t really have any interest

In going further into Fairyland

As it’s kind of obnoxious at the moment.

It’s like… Racket.

And Bitter Medicine was written expressly to kind of go there

And I don’t want to make another work of poetry

Just criticizing my work.

 

Which, Fairyland is very obnoxious at the moment.

It really, really is.

Because I have to tap into unconscious material

And make it conscious, which gets latent up there

And kind of bounces around in weird ways.

And it reverberates into my day to day life.

Which is annoying.

Because, the metaphors in Fairyland are actually true…

Which is important that we understand fiction like that.

But, the actual events of unicorns and dragons

And fairy stones and fairy lords, and imps and cockatrices

And whatever else is up there… it is running dry.

 

The archetypal world of fantasy is of course

A thing that can be done for an entire lifetime.

Just, I’m bored with it.

I like my simple driven nature poems.

I don’t like really being complex right now.

It’s kind of an unwinding time for me.

Less about complex stuff.

It’s not that I can’t do it

But that it’s boring, and it’s starting to get derivative

Which, I’m looking into Wordsworth’s style

But don’t want to go there because

It’s too complex. It’s still hard to understand

And I want more simple poetry in my repertoire

Which is kind of in demand from family members.

They don’t like Fairyland, though it’s my most popular

Here on the website.

 

Psalms and things don’t get stale.

They just don’t really come up organically

Unless there is something to organically write.

It’s not prophecy. For sure…

It’s just some kind of thing is there in the writing of my Psalm like poems

Which glorifies Jesus,

And I don’t believe that they need to be written

Unless I need to write it.

I’m not writing the Bible…

So, I keep reminding myself of this

To kind of ward off stupid things that people might say about my writing.

It kind of has religious undertones

But I avoid making cult writings because I know they can only end up in disaster.

 

So, explicitly, Fairyland is about done. It’s getting there, and it’s really annoying me

To have to write more.

Simple metaphors, though, are pleasing me.

I just don’t want to drive into Bathos.

Which, Bathos is a word meaning

Essentially, “Gaudy.”

Or, “In Bad Taste.”

Like, for instance, it would be applied to

Gratuitous sex scenes

Serial killings are normally bathos—

It’s like entering into that realm

That art ought not enter into

Because it’s no longer beautiful

Nor edifying, but rather is disturbing.

That’s a element you need to avoid

In writing because it’s not helping the audience.

Though a lot of people explore it

I try to avoid it.

 

A good example is a Poet I saw on the internet

Who just kind of recited in pomp

A word I will not say

Because then everyone would know who it is…

But this person has a long credential list of writings

Apparently, I don’t really have any association with his work

Or know any of it, just this one thing he recited.

And, when you’re reciting something pornographic

Like you’re reciting Southey,

It’s a good chance you are entering into Bathos again.

So… here’s two terms I’ve just taught you.

 

Some other things I want to do

Is avoid the Quest Romance.

Enough has been done on it.

That is a term

Which means… essentially

The hero obtaining their goal.

Which, is everything these days

And it’s a stale trope

Which needs to kind of be set in the back burner

For me… because I’m tired of always having heroes slaughter demons

And it’s getting to a point where it’s no longer edifying me to write it.

It’s really a strain,

And I’m favoring more simple things at the moment.

Which, quest romances are about as simple a plot device

There is. I just don’t want to go there… at the moment…

Because it’s too derivative a plot device.

My roots are strong in more existentialist literature

Rather than simple quest romances.

Which, existentialist literature—

Again… so you understand—

Is kind of questioning whether there is a meaning to life.

It’s a more open ended, philosophical question.

It’s no longer about plot, but more ruminating on

Existence, and whether there is meaning.

And of course there is…

That’s always my go to. Is showing the meaning

And kind of mooting existentialism.

But, it’s still a force to be reckoned with.

There really are only two metaphysical philosophies.

Those who claim there is.

And those who claim there isn’t.

I am the former,

As most rational people are.

The latter is typically a negative construct.

So, most of philosophy is dealing with trying to prove the former.

Which, I’m not a philosopher. I’m a writer.

The writer is more in line like an Eastern Philosopher.

They are concerned with what is.

Because it is.

Because you see it.

And you see it works.

That’s how Confucianism and Taoism kind of work

In tandem, both are making positive claims to knowledge.

The one is about “Emptiness.” The other is about “Fullness.”

And, these don’t really interest me as philosophies.

I look at Taoism and Confucianism as less than religions

And more like governing practices.

Buddhism I don’t really care for as a philosophy

Or religion… I tend to just set it aside

As it tends to leech off of other belief structures

And find identity in those.

It’s really less of a means or ends.

It’s more a distraction

And making arguments for moot

Things. Which interests me in another way

Because it’s not really an eastern philosophy.

It’s more western in nature.

Because it’s rooted in skepticism.

Not rooted in empiricism or

Even knowledge.

Eastern and Middle Eastern

Philosophies are more rooted in taking for granted the tangible.

And, they do this for good reason.

It produces moral absolutes

Which help structure societies

And keep them from deteriorating.

Buddhism is really along the lines of

Socratic Skepticism.

There’s differences.

Socrates had a more atheistic philosophy

Not that he was an Atheist.

It just wasn’t concerned with matters beyond the scope of philosophy.

Buddhism, on the other hand, is an enigma to me

And it’s an enigma to most people who practice it.

Because it really gets conflated with Taoism

And it’s really, like I said, a leech philosophy.

It really frustrates me, too

Because it kind of makes assumptions

And then claims it makes no assumptions.

And what assumptions it makes

Are nihilistic in nature

And really… I can find no religion I despise more than it.

Because it really has no answer.

And I find Christianity

Answers all of it.

I like to have answers.

And Christianity gives me answers.

The only thing I don’t know

Is why it’s the only religion that saves.

But, given it’s the only one that proves itself

Over and over and over again

In its moral assumptions

I find it to be the religion most rooted in truth.

 

Buddhism does not ever claim truth.

Taoism does. Let’s be clear here…

Lao Tsu is always affirming a way.

It may be empty, it may be all sorts of nonsense

It also might be backwards in every sense of the word

But, it arrives at a place more concrete than Buddhism ever has.

 

And this comes up because I’m tired of having this discussion

In my writing.

I really am tired of Buddhism and Existentialism

Being criticized because it’s really

At this point, thoroughly defeated.

If anyone were to read what I’ve written

And the copious amounts of literature I’ve read…

It’s clear to me that people don’t make their own meaning.

It’s doubly clear to me that absolutes exist

And really, we can ponder all day about an impossibility

But, it’s an infinite regress of just shaving away things

That ought to be taken for granted.

For one thing, Buddhism has its wisdom.

To critically think.

But, they defeat themselves by never reaching a conclusion.

Western Philosophy does the same thing

Almost regrettably…

And, I’m tired of hashing that whole thing over and over

And over and over and over again in my writing.

It’s a great conflict.

But, again, I’m tired of Quest Romances,

I’m tired of always hashing out the same philosophical problems.

I’m really, to be honest…

Not interested in writing about philosophy in general.

Because it is a subject that is steeped in ridiculous traditions

And problems I’ve had answered since I was eight.

I never questioned the reality I was presented with.

I don’t think I ought to be questioning it, either.

I think, for moral purposes,

Reality ought to be a given

And no further examination ought to be done.

Because there are questions beyond that scope

That need answered more imperatively

Like for instance, “Ought I give to charity

“Or ought I not because it makes people dependent?”

And this is more practical, which is why my mind

Always divests into political theory

Instead of lofty notions of whether a circle exists

Or a square is a square.

I would rather look at Euclid and see

It is certain, and not get caught up in the abstract.

Nor, get caught up in the certainty

That seems to be a problem with scientists.

Because there are questions we can’t answer

With science. That’s also a given.

But, I’m tired of writing about it.

It’s annoying.

 

What I rather would write about

At the moment, is essays on other people’s writings.

It’s a passion of mine.

I like to see other people’s ideas

Because mine are mine.

They don’t get any more interesting

When they just kind of sit in a reverberating echo chamber

Of internal thoughts and soliloquies.

 

So… yeah. Obviously I’m concerned with what is.

Not what I believe. Not what I think.

I’m more traditional that way.

And I want my writing to reflect that instead.

More concrete things…

But, again, avoiding bathos at all costs.

I don’t want to be the Poet Laureate

Who all of a sudden starts confusing kitsch

With real ideas.

And kitsch is a really badly defined word:

But it’s basically just a form of sentimentality.

Like, feeling in love is not kitsch. When a work does that

It’s highly important because it’s a sign of empathy

And unfortunately sentimentalism has been coined as a word

Which applies to any emotion in writing

Being used to morally understand.

Reason cannot come to a moral conclusion.

We’ve seen it time and time again.

Emotions can’t, either.

But, reason and emotions, and of course God

Can come to moral conclusions. Which is why all three

Need to be used in reaching moral conclusions.

 

And, that’s why I like the Hortus Conclusus.

I like it because it’s a device that helps you

See the life, or the good life, and the character is trying to obtain it.

It’s not quest romance. That’s more simple.

Hortus Conclusus is an object.

It’s translated as “Sealed Garden”

Or often related to the Song of Solomon.

Which, in a broader context, it just means

The desired outcome of life

And exploring how to reach it.

Which is what I would rather be spending my time with…

And part of that is sentimental.

People don’t want to live without emotions.

So… people don’t want to read without emotions.

And I’d really rather be exploring the means to

Bettering one’s life

Rather than the means of justifying

There is a meaning to life.

Which, the meaning is the Sealed Garden.

I do believe that

But unfortunately

Our existence is tainted with evil.

Both personal decisions and external factors.

I believe these are just a part of free will.

And disasters strike.

The Lisbon Earthquake was

Kind of a wake up call to Europe…

But… it’s something that doesn’t need sliced with a razor.

It needs to rather be put in its proper perspective.

Bad things happen

Because there are forces out of our control.

Are they in God’s control?

Yes… but they still happen

And the reason is always to find moral growth.

One thing I’ve always noticed about women

Is that they do their hair up real nice.

And, it never ceases to amaze me how much prettier they are

Without having done it.

 

I don’t know if it’s because a woman

Is more attracted to masculine features

That she naturally likes her face more

With hair that accents her jagged facial edges;

How they feel “Sexy” with a pixie cut

Or push their hair back to show more of their forehead.

 

But, a man would often think differently.

Men, if they’re honest, like a woman’s hair as it is.

Normally right when they just get out of bed

Traipsing over their face.

Messy, strands flying all over the place.

Men like the forehead covered by those locks;

It’s why we like bangs.

It’s why we like those little sexy ripples

A woman has that kind of curves with her nose

Across her face.

 

Men do not like exposed foreheads.

Men do not like short hair.

A woman’s face is curved.

A man’s face is lined.

When a woman’s hair makes her have lined faces

All her friends say, “Oh, you look gorgeous.”

The men, on the other hand, do not.

 

Trickier still is a little Freudian,

But worth thinking about.

Women, when they decorate a house

It looks more masculine.

If looking at the furnishings, there are more phalluses

More hard lines,

Often more floral designs

Which also look like phalluses.

And, coincidentally

It often is decorated like her ideal mate.

The face, the curtains.

 

If you look into a man’s office

You normally see hardwood floors.

You see leather furniture.

You see animals.

Do not suppose it’s because it is inherently “Masculine”.

It is like this because the items are inherently “Feminine”.

Animal bodies curve. They are not phalluses

They are bodies.

The drapes are normally fitted like a woman’s hair.

The lighting often is more like bosoms

With lamp shades.

The room is darker

Because women tend to be the darker sex.

The woods accent natural beauty

Which men are more fond of.

The leather furnishings

Are like skin;

Women choose fabrics because it’s more like hair.

 

So… this is pretty deep psychology.

But, women… consider this for a second.

Don’t do your hair like you like it.

Do it like a man would like it.

Don’t expose the forehead.

Have curves that accent your face.

Bangs are a really good choice

Because they completely cover the forehead.

 

Men… show your forehead.

Have short hair.

Have edges, not curves.

Unfortunately, I see men like to have

Wavy and curvy hair.

This… is… narcissistic.

I will comment on you

And not women.

 

And for me, my hair is long because I’m poor.

I would, in all honesty, have short hair

If I could.

 

But, having more masculine hair

Is a sign of narcissism in women.

Having more feminine hair

Is a sign of narcissism in men.

The reason is because men are attracted to long hair

And ergo, if they have long hair, who is it that they are attracted to?

Same goes for women.

A Metaphor for Technology

 

The Prince of Tyre believes he is Jesus.

He really believes it.

He knows all of the great gods

And the great nations.

He communes with Nebo.

He talks with Chemosh.

He acquaints himself with Poseidon and Zeus

And Sheshak Muhammad and Dali Buddha.

He knows Athena quite well

And he hunts for Diana.

He is sure, so sure

Of himself to be the great god of Thunder Thor

And his father Odin.

He believes he is a god.

He is convinced of it.

 

O! How his little adopted brother is Loki

Whom no one knows!

How his grandmother refuses to partake in this nonsense!

How he knows Baal and Baphomet

And Anubis the Sphinx and Ra the lord of the Ammonites!

He knows the Brahman of India all by name.

He knows Ethiopia’s Shaka and Salasi.

He knows Moses and Abraham

Whom he believes are gods too

But they are simply not

And will even tell him so on every occasion they meet.

 

Prince Richard

Prince of Tyre

With all the wisdom he had

Come from Daniel the Prophet

Was on journey in the Amazon.

On journey he was,

And came across a little tribe of cannibals.

 

They had their shrunken heads

They had their faces sewn with human skin

They had their testicles pierced with finger bones

Of victims, which they had eaten.

Prince Richard was captured by them

There in the Rain Forests.

There they shook their heads

And Prince Richard was captured.

He said to these fellows,

“I am a god!” and proceeded to spark a light

On his lighter, like he’d seen in so many movies.

 

They smiled and blew it out.

 

Oh! Prince of Tyre! Cease from your delusion.

You are not God! Do not call yourself a “God”!

A hundred movies this worked

But the Cannibals will think you have weak magic.

So you bring a pistol

Or whatever it is…

They will not care.

They will eat you.

 

Cease from calling yourself a “god”.

Let the curse fall on another.

It shall? I don’t know…

Cease from tormenting yourself any longer.

It will? Cease from it, fool!

I will not call you worthless!

 

My heart is kept in purity for you

That you can love your blessed spouse.

 

For, understand the metaphor reader.

If you play with magic

You will get destroyed.

There is always someone’s whose is greater than yours.

You have great fear, great hate, great anger.

They, they have no fear, no hate, no anger;

Simply a culture where things like “Love” do not exist.

To the Assyrian, Richard, your magic is a little flame

Your electric car is no wonder.

Your flying rocket ship is a great mystery

But they have seen more greater things in their hallucinations.

They are not pygmies who worship a bottle.

They are stone cold.

They are like a hungry tiger

Eager for blood, to play with the spoil.

I shutter at the thought.

 

Your aliens won’t help you

For those you hallucinate.

Like the game of Pokemon Go;

Throw away your idols.

Cast them away Prince Richard.

Though you build an army of intelligent machines

Though you discover the world

Cease from it.

For to these nations which you don’t know

You are not a prince. You are not a king.

You are not even supper.

 

How the other nations look at you

Oh Bar Jesus, and do not understand.

They say, “He is more corrupt than all of us!

“And even our idols.”

 

Europe, behold your god.

 

 

Listening to the jazz

The Summertime piano

Playing on my old favorite

CD. One I have, and maybe a couple thousand others

Do too.

 

A base, swinging notes.

Those old familiar notes.

Nothing captures my soul

Like the soft melody of a Jazz note.

Not ostentatious.

Different and unorthodox.

Reserved, but youthful.

 

Jazz shouldn’t break out

Into raucous.

It should border

A reservation

And outright freedom.

It should be there in the middle

Conservative, not following the melodic theories

Or ideas or notions.

It should be there,

Not ready to let loose

Nor sitting on its front porch.

 

That is Jazz, and swing.

It just sits in a place only the great Jazz musicians can.

It doesn’t make itself the star.

It rather is a corporate thing

Where everyone in the big bands are one harmonious

Cacophonous melody.

The singer is only a star

But the Trumpet Player and Pianist get their dues

And the people know them, too.

 

Rock tried to carry on this tradition.

But it couldn’t. It went too far into the rebellion.

Jazz doesn’t rebel.

It stands for freedom, but it does not have a rebellious spirit.

It, rather, takes all its freedom is worth

And does what it will

Going wherever the whim will take it

Not following any rule

Or guideline.

 

It stays where it is

Content to just stay there

To bridge some line

Between youth and wisdom.

It is wisdom. It is youth.

An often rare pairing.