More Productive Ways of Saying Stupid American Catch Phrases

American Catch Phrase: If you believe in yourself, you can do anything.

Truth: If you practice real hard, you’ll get good at something.


American Catch Phrase: Be positive.

Truth: Have hope.


American Catch Phrase: It’s organic.

Truth: It’s not made for marketing.


American Catch Phrase: It’s grass roots.

Truth: It was made by someone who wasn’t famous or made a lot of money.


American Catch Phrase: Buzz Word

Truth: It’s a common word being used in conversation that will go away in the next five months.


American Catch Phrase: Mueller Report

Truth: Nobody really knows why they’re angry


American Catch Phrase: Benghazi

Truth: Americans nominated two people under FBI investigation to run for president.


American Catch Phrase: The News

Truth: Every violent and debauched thing done in America ending up on camera or talked about.


American Catch Phrase: A Good TV Show

Truth: An HBO series that a small portion of the population binged watched on Netflix and everyone else heard about.


American Catch Phrase: ESPN, ABC, Fox, Marvel, Pixar, Star Wars

Truth: Disney


American Catch Phrase: Copyrights and Patents

Truth: People gonna steal it anyway


American Catch Phrase: Kim Kardashian is a loser

Truth: I feel really bad for her, and I wish her a good legal career


American Catch Phrase: Brice Harper

Truth: People should be paid for their talent, within reason.


Catch Phrase: Manny Machado

Truth: Americans pay 200 dollars to see a baseball game


American Catch Phrase: Inflation

Truth: A 40 cent Chocolate Bar in 2001 now costs about 2.50


American Catch Phrase: Stock Market

Truth: Nobody really knows how it works, but we still get really scared when the DOW Jones Industrial Average goes down.


American Catch Phrase: I like to read.

Truth: Likes to have shelf ornaments, and have read a couple chapters of to brag about to friends.


American Catch Phrase: Booktuber

Truth: Someone who actually likes to read, but normally doesn’t understand why writing was invented.


American Catch Phrase: Marketing.

Truth: Making something, and then having someone else change it.


American Catch Phrase: Cooking

Truth: Taking recipes invented within the last couple of decades, and pretending like it’s a rich tradition.


American Catch Phrase: Multiculturalism

Truth: Despising American Culture, but not realizing that the immigrants they are trying to imitate want to be more like us.


American Catch Phrase: Intelligent Conversation

Truth: Memorized factoids that get dispersed by binge watching YouTube and then telling other people about it.


American Catch Phrase: Buddhism

Truth: Just not caring enough to figure something complicated out.


American Catch Phrase: Anti Fascists

Truth: Just about the most fascist people alive.


American Catch Phrase: Anonymous

Truth: People who claim to respect the Fourth Amendment, but then go ahead and break it by invading other people’s computers.


American Catch Phrase: Isis

Truth: An enemy image meant to distract us or lead us into a really stupid war.


American Catch Phrase: Nuclear Power

Truth: Everyone who’s not an American: “OMG.”


American Catch Phrase: Intelligent

Truth: Knows how to use words technically correct, but doesn’t listen to anyone enough to understand what they said when they didn’t get something technically correct.


American Catch Phrase: Criminal Justice

Truth: DNA evidence is the end all be all of evidence, even though it’s proven very unreliable. Also, NCIS.


American Catch Phrase: Lawyer

Truth: Nobody really likes them, though they tend to be a lot more honest than the rest of the world’s so called.




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