There once was an old Jew
Who thought he was a woman.
He dressed up in clothes of a woman
Made a mighty fine one at that…
Though, he was confused because he was a man
But thought he was a woman.
He wrote the book of the Gatekeeper
And a Jewish prophet found his curses.
He, this old Gatekeeper
Was meant to allow certain men
To have access to their meat
For he, with the access to times
Could open the doors for them.
He, quite foolishly,
Did many unworthy things.
He turned himself into quite a nasty fellow.
So, the prophet finding his curses
Said, “I see you speak of me
“And my grandmother
“And I feel your curse every night around eight.
“How you pray your curses,
“And your songs are your religion.”
Yet, he did not know it was Hezekiah
He trapped. Hezekiah,
So the foolhearted Pekah,
Who hated Jews and held them captive
Said, “I shall enter into even greater curses”
It does sound true, doesn’t it Avram;
That you thought, “He calls himself Judah
“I shall make myself The Northern King.”
That is Babylon’s king.
O’ but my name is now Israel
Because you get to call yourself “Babylon.”
You trick, I trick, I am no longer Judah
Because you are no longer Assyria.
Jacob is a trickster
Jacob is a trickster
Trickster,
Trickster,
It all fell down!
On your head.
Thus, the crest of the northern king was on your car
O Avram Ephraim, Pekah King of Israel
With the Six Hundred and Sixty-Six talents of Solomon’s Gold.
Thus, I speak no curse on you.
Rather I bless you.
Your poetry is amusing.
I should have thought Israel was a safe King
But you are not…
B. K. Neifert 