Write a Brainstorm

Write a brainstorm

Let the novel sit for two years…

It sits, hidden in the book collection

Of hand written journals.

A pet project here,

A pet project there,

Maybe a modern novel will be written by my fingers.

 

Idolatry… I hope this art isn’t idolatry.

I love writing…

I love it.

The pride of authorship

The joy of seeing myself grow.

Seeing the pangs of youth

Burgeon to the strength of mind in adulthood.

The communist rants

Turn into Burkean homilies.

For my less informed reader…

The one who doesn’t know what Burkean means…

There’s an old saying.

If you are not a liberal in youth,

You have no heart.

If you’re not a conservative in adulthood,

You have not yet grown up.

 

How the tea kettles I’ve talked about

Those torpid tea kettles

In the meaningful nonsense poems

Burgeon to strange worlds

And fantasies.

Yet, there sits my novel in a dozen pages…

 

The professional writer

Their obvious fault is that they prescribe too many rules.

The amateur writer,

Their obvious fault is that they follow too many rules.

How many spelling errors are there in my writing?

I don’t know…

How many comas misplaced?

I don’t know.

How many “Their”s mistaken for “They’re.”

I don’t know.

How many “Then”s

For “Than”.

I don’t know.

 

Sadness creeps into my bones

Because I don’t know how or what to write.

My self editing is sallow.

My work ethic failing.

Because I see either success or failure

Do not produce the results I want.

I don’t know what would satisfy me…

 

I eat, but am unsatisfied.

Just like Micah’s curse.

I wonder what reason I am cursed…

I look at my entire life and I find there

The fact that I have committed much wrongdoing.

The same amount as most radical feminists.

My sin is theirs,

But their sin everyone covers up.

Mine… it keeps me poor

Hated, unprotected,

Reliant on everyone else around me.

 

If I had the answer

I would find it.

It’s amazing to me how everyone just revels in sin

And seems happy and blessed.

I wait on God to judge them…

But He doesn’t.

The happiest on earth

I’ve found,

Are usually the most vile.

It’s why I’m a Christian.

 

They make a diligent search for sin

And it’s always found in me…

How that stings my breast to say it.

I cannot escape it.

What I would like…

Truthfully,

Is one woman to make love to my whole life

That I can trust with my very life.

This hobby, I would hope to eat from.

But I don’t want fame or fortune.

I can’t work,

Because Fairyland is real to me…

It’s always there in my mind as I sweep

Or mop, or stack crates.

This talent, I need to eat from it.

But I cannot. Some arcane force

Will not let me.

Call it a king, call it a queen

Call it FBI

Call it Satan…

I will call it what it is.

I don’t want to be famous.

 

What a stupid profession to get entangled in

If I didn’t want money or fame…

Self defeated, I will always self defeat.

Because I don’t want everyone talking about me.

I don’t want my laundry aired to the whole world

And made public, what I know is public

But at least now I don’t have to hear about it.

So… Athena, as it is,

Thinks he’s harming me by keeping me poor.

Really, he is just gobbling up the portion

That I know, in this day and age,

Would eat me up.

 

Satan… my bloggers,

Can be a kindness on a Christian.

He can take the world,

When you don’t want it.

He can gobble up fortunes,

When those fortunes would incur great wrath.

He can keep you poor,

When riches would steal your soul.

Jude’s greatest wisdom was this,

To not revile angelic majesties.

The reason why, is that Satan

Is there for our benefit, Christians.

How we don’t want to admit it,

But the rod is there for our bruises,

And the bruises are there for our growth.

We grow, and become great through our stripes.

Satan is not there to hurt you, Christians.

He is a roaring lion in the street…

He does wish to devour every one of us.

But Satan is called upon whom he is called.

It is God who unleashes the lion on your life.

And for that, he might gobble up your fortunes,

He might frustrate you with banal dreams…

He might even hold the very thing you want…

But know, a man who gets everything he wants

Is usually the same man who destroys himself.

 

Yes… someone prevents me from getting published.

Yes, it frustrates me.

Yes, a part of it is myself.

But yes, a part of it is a deal with the devil…

Not mine, but the LORD’s

Who made a bargain with Satan

In Job. Not so Satan could destroy Job.

No. Simply because Job needed to be abased

For self righteousness.

Did Job sin?

Righteousness is not a sin.

But if Job’s own right arm would bear him,

Let Job smite God’s enemies.

But he couldn’t.

 

If you like what you’ve read, click the link below and purchase a copy or two of my books.

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=B.+K.+Neifert&ref=nb_sb_noss_2

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